Through the Eyes of A Child - A Poem About Abuse
86My History with Child Abuse and Neglect
Working at a center for children who had an open abuse or neglect case through the local Children and Family Services was one of the most painful and most rewarding jobs I have ever had. This poem reflects the uncertainty that children in these situations face that even adults can't understand—unspoken fears that young eyes and hearts face on a daily basis.
A Child's Eyes
I used to think a child’s eyes were
Always trusting
Willing to reach out
Willing to touch
To be touched
Wanting to love
And be loved—
Open and innocent.
I used to think a child’s eyes were
Always trusting
Until I met them—
A different breed
Uncommon lives
Filled with violence
With fear
And unpredictable love.
I used to think a child’s eyes were
Always trusting
Until I saw
Looking up at me
Wide fearful eyes
An adult to hold onto—
Yet holding back
Hesitant, unsure.
I never expected a child’s eyes
To not be trusting--
To be pleading,
Haunting and hollow,
Showing an insecure
And ugly world
That begins
Way before adulthood.
I used to think a child’s eyes
Were always trusting.
But a new world every day
That is eerily different
Yet every day the same
Comes back to haunt
Comes back to stay
With the same old refrain:
My Own Eyes Opened as a Social Worker
Each day the same but different…. Each day is the same with the uncertainty, the knowledge that everything is going to bring with it the same chaos, the same abuse, or the same numb neglect. Each day is different, too, in that there is always the human hope that seems to lurk in every one of us, the hope that a new day will bring with it a surprise of something better, even if something small.
As a young social worker out of college, my eyes were opened to a world in which three year olds had more personality and social issues than I had ever encountered in an adult. They had more trust issues than I could have ever dreamed possible. When I “won” one of these precious individuals over and heard that coveted “Miss Bicki” (short for Miss Vicki, of course) and reached out to take that little hand that stretched up to me, I was filled with the most humble and blessed of feelings. The hope that little girl or boy wanted to feel had bubbled up past the fear that held that badgered soul back from adults. Praise God!
The situations that such children as these live in is a cycle, one that is often passed down to them from their parents who also struggled in similar environments. I worked closely with their parents to help them work on breaking the cycle and providing a better home. I helped them find all the resources they could. Sometimes it was enough, and sometimes it wasn’t. I don’t know what happened to all those children and families I worked with nearly twenty years ago. I do know for sure of one incredible success story with one of the little boys whose family I worked with for nearly four years. I trust there are more.
And here is the refrain...
Each day the same but different....
I see…
Eyes that show a wealth of loss
In their world of everyday.
I see…
Eyes that know
Enormous cost
In a world that slips away.
Each day the same but different
In a world that yields no gains;
Each day some hopeful efforts
To help release their pain.
I see…
Eyes that move
In frantic darts
In a world of constant change.
I see…
Eyes that die
In fearful glaze
In a world they can’t arrange.
Each day the same but different
In a world that yields no gains;
Each day new lies are waiting
In a truth that still remains.
Each day the same but different.
Books on Child Abuse
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Child Sexual Abuse: Responding to the Experiences of Children (Wiley Child Prot
Current Bid: $16.80
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Child Abuse Sourcebook (2009, Hardcover)
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NEW The Franklin Cover-Up: Child Abuse, Satanism, and M
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Lovely and painful , filled with emotion , voted up thanks for the read:)
Yes, justateacher, these children are amazing and hardy. They survive just as we have to, but they're amazingly better at it because of their ages--and they shouldn't have to! Thanks for the vote. This poem is close to my heart.
you are so true about that phrase
Very sad and riveting poem you wrote here, I felt like one of those children as reflections from my past still haunt me today as I look in my mirror. Yes those eyes of the children, sad, hollow, crying, red, weary, puffy and more.
I truly hope many people come to read this, I am certain it will leave an impact on them as it did me. Well done, praise the children of our world who live in abuse. I pray one day it will END for good. Thank you for sharing.
Thanks, jami and kendra. It is a painful subject. I'm glad you can feel the emotion that I experienced in my past--my career. I still hurt for those children. They come to visit the other social work type agency at which I'm a part. My heart is always drawn to them--and I think always will be.
Yes, saddlerider, I'm aware of the pain you've experienced in the past. I had forgotten until you wrote on this hub. There are, I'm sure, many out there who go through that kind of a childhood. Working with the children I did was so eye-opening, so painful at times, and I think I will always see their faces in my mind, even though now they are nearly 20 years older and I might not recognize them, and they wouldn't even remember me, even though I was Miss Bicki to them. I pray, too, that one day that cycle of abuse will end. And I hope that those children--even after they grow up--will find support, empathy, and compassion, as perhaps you have found in your own life. I have such a heart for the kids I worked with and wonder if one day I'll go back to that field. For now, I hope that writing this will spread to more folks who can relate and feel some kind of empathy and understanding. Thanks for reading and commenting! Always a pleasure!
Thank you for writing this poem, it is poignant and honest.
I just spent last term teaching in an Emotional, behavioral and developmental or EBD unit with kids 6 to 16 and it nearly killed me what they are dealing with.
I cannot say more but this stuff is still going on and no-one seems to have an answer.
I just came down stairs from holding my little angel and happened to stumble upon your poem. Thank you so much for sharing these words on behalf of all the abused children of the world. Your poem will touch the hearts of many.
I am a foster mom. My little angel came to me as an infant a year ago and was barely thriving. She was all of 9 lbs and had been severely, severely abused. She was in critical condition and time would only tell what her outcome would be.
Her eyes were deep, dark cloudy and vacant. Her cries were moaning and distressful. Within a couple of weeks her distressful voice turned to coo's and awes and she began to come alive.
Today she is a happy, energetic, extremely loving and brilliant child. Her self esteem is flourishing. She is above and beyond toddlers of her age and has met all of her developmental milestones.
My family and I are currently struggling with having to say good bye to my beloved angel whom we were suppose to adopt. Seems the court is ruling in favor of her being returned to a bio relative.
My experience has always been that there is no justice for children. It is never in the best interest of the child.
Our little angel is bonded with our entire family and her entire world as she has known it. The family that she loves and identifies with, will soon be shattered.
How much trauma must these children endure? It's just not fair.
Thanks so much for sharing,
Sage
Victoria, how very empathetic you are...your words are those of someone who really cared...who really noticed; who felt the feelings of lost children...and lost hope; and days filled with fear, anticipation of the worst; lack of trust and no consistancy...just the unknown and sorrowful. What an eloquent and heart wrenching poem and words of description. Wow. Beautiful, Awesome, UP, Useful, because we who read this can learn to see a little more clearly and accurately when we find ourself in the midst of such tragedy and the need arises ... Thank you.
Very emotional and sad. It's so unfair that these little ones go through this at a young age, and yet they do. Being an adult abused child, I know first hand what this is like. Having lived through this isn't easy. To overcome it is even harder. But when that child does grow and turn out a survivor, he or she turns out the victor. As for Sage, my heart goes out to your little one. But the more live you give to this little one, the more love she'll give you in return.
Thank you so much for writing this piece, Victoria Lynn.
Natalie
This just hurts ... kind of pulls at me
It is not easy to write about abused children who have lost hope and trust and live with fear. Thank you for writing this. It is very poignant and touches so many in many different ways.
Lovely but sad... expecially in light of the whole Penn State thing. People don't realize how much damage they can cause to children's developing psyche. The kids at least had you.
Thanks for sharing your experience. The poetry reminds me of child abuse stories that I get to see in the media.
Up, beautiful and awesome!
My heart aches for those children, I have seen the eyes and it is something I will never forget. You have brought light to something so horrible and I applaud you. Thank you.
molometer--It IS sad what so many kids have to go through. I don't know exactly what you're seeing, but I know that it was very frustrating in my work, too, seeing all the injustices, dealing with the court system....We just have to keep fighting for those kids!
Very powerful hub that needs to be addressed and fixed. And, I am encouraged to see hubbers reaching out and working on the fixes very much needed. Blessings to you for writing about a very emotional subject and you and your followers for taking action.
Sage--I've been having a hard time thinking about responding to your comments. They are so heart-wrenching. Sorry isn't enough. The pain you and your family must feel in losing your little angel is unimaginable to me. And it must be scary knowing you are the only family she has ever known. We can only pray that she will be well-loved and will adjust in time. Regardless of that, though, it doesn't take away the cruel injustice of it all. Can that relative not just visit? After all this time? How old is she now? How can that placement be better? Your description of her eyes when she came to you was haunting. You did a wonderful thing taking her in. I hope that gives you comfort. Do let me know if anything changes. I pray something does and you'll get to keep her with you. So sorry. That really hurts.
Thanks, Lucky Cats. I really did (and do) care. I got frustrated with the legal system, fighting the courts, but there was some progress made in working with the children and their families. Still, they--and all children--in that kind of situation--go through much more than they should have to. Like the animals you care for, too. Haven't you seen the lost eyes of abandoned or abused animals? The injustice that the most helpless creatures--children and animals--must face is sometimes unbearable. On a positive note, I love the new profile picture you have up. Very sweet. See you later....
Thanks, Nat, for your comments. I'm sorry for what you had to go through, and I hope that you are the victor, as you mention about these kids who survive. It's such a sad thing, and I get sad looking back and remembering those kids I worked with so long ago, wondering where they are now. Are they happy? Are they whole? Did they make it? It gives me goosebumps to think about it. My heart goes out to you, as well. Take care.
Frank--it pulls at me, too, everytime I read it or think about it. All the memories I have....
Thank you, Phyllis. I appreciate your sweet comments.
shea--You're right. People don't seem to realize how damaging they can be. And thanks for saying that at least they had me. They really did! I forget about that. Maybe I helped them and their families turn a different direction. I'd love to know where they all are now!
I'm glad it was real to you, Vinaya, because I write from my past experiences in this area.
Thanks for the votes, realhousewife.
leaderofmany--thanks for your support in applauding me. It IS something you never forget. My heart always aches for those kids.
sweethearts--Thanks for your words of support and encouragement. I think there are many people out there who are working to help children who are victims of abuse.
I know those eyes, quite intimately. They were once mine. Also we adopted three abused children who never learned to love or to trust. The hurt inflicted on the children affects them for a lifetime and beyond. It affects their children, and then the children's children ... unless the cycle can be broken, it continues... so sad ... the eyes that could once be used to tell things about a person ... eventually show the emptiness and futility felt ... so sad.
And I don't know if there were not really social workers doing this kind of work when I was a child, or if living on a farm just outside of a small town kept it all hidden. It was like my sister has said, "Come on now. Somebody had to know what was going on!" I try to give everyone grace - hoping they did not know and that was why nothing was ever done.
So sad and tragic, innocence stolen and little lives that should be growing up with love and laughter and wonder for the world, living in fear. And as you have highlighted in your experiences here, cycles continue. You are to be commended for your caring work. Thank you for bringing this to our attention. Your poems are haunting and beautifully written.
I'm so sorry to hear about your past, homestead....Yes, it is a cycle, but sometimes the cycle is broken, usually with intervention. I hope you are now whole. I know that you are a positive force here in this community. Being from a small town, on a farm--you could be right. People don't want to believe that child abuse happens in their own neighborhoods, and it's very possible that nobody recognized the signs. My heart goes out to you.
My adopted daughter was abusing her children, 3 of my grandchildren that I have never seen and will never see. One of my adopted sons told me about it - she had left the state because she was on the run from CPS. When I got a general idea of where she was, I let CPS know where she was and they took her second child. She was pregnant with the 3rd at the time and they took that one at birth. This is what I mean about the cycle repeating. Now none of the children communicate with us.
Thanks, fennelseed, I appreciate your comments and encouragement. We can only hope that some cycles are stopped, and I have seen that happen in several cases in the past. Still, there are too many that go on and on.
And homestead, I don't even know what to say. Will the state not let you see the grandchildren, even? Grandparents often have rights, even if just visitation--but it varies from state to state, I am sure. I'm so sorry for what you've gone through. It seems that you broke your own cycle in trying to give back, but perhaps it was too late for those children...? I am so sorry. That must be so painful. I pray that someday they come back, and realize all that you gave to them.
Victoria Lynn - It is really okay. We went into hiding from the kids, but then one of them came back home and tried to kill my husband. We will eventually move again hoping they will not find us. We will probably make the next move much further away. They were essentially damaged beyond repair. One state psychiatrist stated that they were the worst damaged children he had ever seen. Of course this was after the adoption was final. A therapist told use one of the children was probably a psychopath (we he was 13) and he is the one that tried to kill my husband about 4 years ago.
So yes, much damage is done to children.
The abuse that my sisters and I suffered through has caused both of them to be alcoholics and drug users. And their children have suffered.
My husband and I were not able to have any children, so we thought that we would adopt and try to make a difference. It made a difference - a huge difference in our lives. If we had not have had our faith, we would have been doomed. But we survived and our marriage survived, through the grace of God.
Oh, man! Was he 13 when you adopted him? I am so sorry for the pain in your family. I'm thankful for the strength and faith your husband have held onto. Homesteadbound, you have a story to tell--an amazingly sad story that may need to be told. I don't know. But you sure can write, and perhaps you should think about sharing your story one day with others....
Victoria, This is very intense and a eye-opener. There exists a world where things are different. Adults don't act like adults and children act differently. I have myself seen some children and come in contact with them. The saddest part is that the abusers are well known to the children whose privacy they intrude. They breach that trust which children have in them. It is not only the end of childhood but the beginning of troubled adulthood. Very useful hub. Thanks.
With warm wishes,
MAKUSR
I too have bear witness to such pain as a child & seen many children in this sorta dilemma of sorts, dealing with abusive parents or siblings, or relatives. It's not easy, but the best ways to fight this sorta sad reality is to tackle it head on, at the very source of the issue, which is parenting.
Many parents have learned traits from their parents, so on an so fourth. The chain of abuse must be broken with education, counseling, & the realism of what the abuser has truly done to their helpless victims our children.
My fight against it all has begun here on hubpages, I wrote a hub yesterday on the topic as well to contribute to a collective effort to put an end to child abuse, because I too was a victim many years back, my own brother had abused me & so I reconcile with the pain many other people have felt. Thanks for such a beautifully written poem, you deserve an award for this one. Voted up as awesome, beautiful, useful & interesting.
So true, MAKUSR. It's sad when children can't trust those closest to them, and sometimes it's hard to save them, to help them by whole, productive adults. It's so sad. Thanks, as always, for your comments.
Victoria, the kids were a sibling group of 7, 8 and 9. So he was 7 when we got him.
Hi Victoria, Such an ugly and sad truth that exist in the world. A deeply moving poem you have written. Voted up!
CloudExplorer, I'm sad to hear about your personal experience with child abuse but glad to hear of your fight to rise above it. I will check out what you have written. An award? You're too kind! I just wrote about what my experiences showed me, and I'm humbled by your compliments. Thank you so much for your comments.
homesteadbound--it's sad how early kids can be messed up. So sorry for what you've had and are having to live with. Don't know what else to say. Just so sad.
adrienne--it is an ugly truth, one that I hope with more awareness and persistence will be helped in time. Thanks for reading.
Victoria,
I'm of the belief that we are either part of the solution or part of the problem. There's no middle ground in this one.
This is an exceptional way of being part of the solution.
Well done.
femme
Thanks, femme. Perhaps getting more awareness out there does help. Thanks for the support!
I couldnt read all the poem, because its sad. My daughters were both molested by my ex husband who the court let off scott free since no torn hymen left behind for physical evidence. Even though police, cps and court evaluator all got statements from my daughters. he denies everything and without physical evidence he can not be prosecuted. to make matters worse they released his monitored visits to now unmonitored. He never showed p for a year for his monitored visits, Now he comes every other weekend. I see my 8 year old drawing closer and closer to me, and sad to go there. I am forced to hand deliver them into their enemy. I am attending school now to complete my BA in social work. I know now how the system doesn't work but I will always do my best to try and help these lil victims. I am also adopted.
So sorry, Crystal. That's so sad. I'm a social worker, and I worked as a protective service worker for several years. It was hard when the court system didn't work, but sometimes it did, and there were success stories. I'm glad you can use your own pain and frustration to choose a career that will help others in similar situations. I hope things get better for your own kids' situation. Thanks for trying to read my poem. Take care.
Good Morning Victoria,
What a wonderful but sad poem as it shows what a child feels as their world is shattered by abuse. Working as a school nurse I have seen many with those eyes and have sat talking to many social workers as they try to investigate what is happening in the little ones world. I still see those eyes and it is not something you ever forget. Thank you for keeping this as a reminder that we have to continue to stand in the gap for these children.
God bless,
Sunnie
Thanks for this Hub, because the poem captures the world of abuse in a poignant fashion. It reminds me of a poetry contest in the late 1980s in which a poem about a man's abuse as a child won a big prize. It stopped the audience in dead silence. It was an epic poem that described abuse and emotional aftermath, and the imaginary dog that the boy maintained to keep his sanity. But one night, he and his invisible dog went to stand on the railroad tracks to end their misery (only in the poem, for he grew up and read it to us).
We may be a little more advanced about recognizing abuse in the 2010s, but we all can appreciate such a poem as yours and keep it for showing others. Brava!
Great comments, Sunnie. We do have to keep standing up for these children--you're right. And we never forget those eyes. I haven't.
I love your poem. It speaks the truth about child abuse.
For those angelic eyes
May God give them
a magical shield
for protection
a magical amulet
for strength
a magical wand
for defense
magical wings
for uplifting
magical honey
for healing
a magical pet
for communication
May their hearts be safe
and be loved
and when they finally recover
may their 'antibodies'
work like charms
Wow, Patty, your comments gave me goosebumps. My poem being compared to such an awesome poem that you describe...I'm very touched that it reminded you of that experience. Thanks so much.
haikutwinkle--that's beautiful!
Very sad and touching. It hurts to know that adults treat children in a way that is evil and painful. I can relate. Check out my poem called ' Molestation - Restoration. Overall your poem is awesome and you deserve 10 stars! Much Love and Respect
wisdom25--It IS very sad, very disturbing. I'll check out your poem, too. Thanks for the 10 stars!
justateacher Level 7 Commenter 6 months ago
As a special education teacher, I see children who have suffered so many different kinds of abuse that it is unimaginable. It is amazing how well these children hide what is going on in their lives and how hardy they really are...
Great poem...voted up..